There are those who display bad manners at the expense of others. Some people have their nose in the air and give off the impression they are better than everyone else. That is not good manners. Quite the contrary – it is plain bad manners. There is nothing polite about making people feel small and insignificant and excluding others. Positioning and power often get in the way of building relationships. The focus is internal and what potential gain can be had? Behaviour should be inclusive – not exclusive. 
 
Good manners come from the heart. This is best demonstrated by the individual who has a genuine interest in others and wants to contribute to a relationship rather than take from it. I always try to leave a relationship better than it was at the beginning. I agree it’s not always possible, because there are difficult and miserable people in this world, but it’s the effort to communicate and develop a lasting relationship which is important. Our focus needs to be here, and so should our persistence.
 
At what point do you give up on working on a relationship with a client, a colleague, a boss?  It will depend on the amount of aggravation and anxiety that is caused from the interaction, as well as your will and patience. It took me 12 years to win over my youngest step-daughter – and the effort and persistence was well worth it! An unpleasant interaction can be a real test of character, putting you face-to-face with your ability to overcome adversity. You either have developed great people skills or you have not. 
 
Mastering difficult people is another topic, but let’s just say that it’s an essential skill if you wish to develop and grow your business. The more you wish to grow your business, the more people you will be interacting with, both internally, in your business, and externally. The chance of running into a diverse range of personalities and character faults increases significantly, and then there are differences in culture that can be thrown into the mix. 
 
The word “character” comes from the Greek term “chisel”. We develop our character best when we are faced with difficulty and adversity – in trying times. The experience will determine what kind of person we become. How we respond to it will determine what kind of person we become. The bad experiences in life, and the difficult people we encounter, should be embraced. All experiences shape us. The bad experiences demonstrate rather blatantly how well we have mastered our skills. 
 
Our response to any given situation can be humbling – for us and for others. Remember when a colleague “lost it”? How did it make you feel? Like slinking away and wanting to limit our interaction with them – maybe even permanently? With eyebrows raised we probably uttered under our breath – “Whoa – take a pill dude!”
 
There is always an excuse for anger – or rather there is always a reason for it. It rarely just happens. Of course we can experience anger or be the brunt of it because of a hormonal or chemical imbalance (internal and external), too.
 
Identifying the reason and taking the time to listen and understand the situation can go a long way toward diffusing the situation. Those who walk away from an angry person can often experience an escalation of hostility. 
 
Taking the time to listen to those upset – those who feel somehow violated – can demonstrate your desire to resolve a bad situation. People want to be heard and listening shows you genuinely, authentically care. 
 
When was the last the time someone blew a cork? Did you take the time to listen? Did you even stick around or did you just want to clear out of the way, not sure where the abuse would land next? 
 
Standing your ground when anger and confrontation hits close to home is critical. Bullying is very much alive and well in the work place environment and those who back away from anger and intimidation, often don’t fair well. You demonstrate fear and intimidation by stepping even one pace backwards. You have to weight whether anger can escalate into physical violence and bodily harm or whether it’s just venting. In most cases, it won’t be physical violence. Showing your fear isn’t a good move. Just allow a person to express the anger and listen – paying close attention, not ignoring. 
 
Very few people like screaming, yelling and confrontation. It makes us feel uncomfortable, but if you learn to control it, and quietly stand your ground when faced with it, you will grow significantly as a person. Your courage will skyrocket. 
 
Walking away from someone expressing anger, shows you aren’t interested in listening or trying to understand the situation. People yell because they don’t feel heard. Listen, do your best to understand the situation, and when you’ve gotten enough of the facts, do your best to resolve the situation and set things right. Standing your ground and doing what it takes to set things right will ensure you make maximum impact.  

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